Ballet Blunders

I've read recently that the best thing for "wannabe" actors to do is to become involved in every drama play or musical that they can possibly be in. This advice I've tried to follow, through the last 2 years I've been in 8 shows, including 2 musical and additionally to that, I've also performed in a ballet."The nutcracker" but you'd be mistaken to think that I was the White Queen, or sweet Clara....oh no I was a Russian dancer, but not just a Russian dancer, the Russian dancer who was banished to the back of the stage as I struggled with my red ribbon and painful shoes. Even though the short 2 minute dance demanded 3 months of rehearsal....yes hours and hours of practice....I still managed to jump on beat 3 instead of beat 2.....resulting in me being the lone dancer bobbing a second later than all of the rest of the ballet stars.

Yes it's an awful picture and i don't have one with the famous red ribbon...but for some reason I decided not to document the costume with a picture (also i did not photo edit this....but I can't change it back)

 You would think that would be embarrassing enough, you might be wondering why I didn't just turn around right then and there and glide off the stage in a ballet style manner...(not that graceful dancing was something I could achieve, but a girl can dream can't they?) But oh no instead i thought I'd stick by it....finish the finale and then make my most likely not-so-graceful exit. Now I should make it known that the stage was tiny, and our ballet teachers wish that all 250 dancers do a breath taking dance number for the finale, was in my mind, completely flawed. Because of my not-so-important part in the performance, I took my bow first (and as any theatre addict knows, the first bow is always reserved for the worst or smallest performer in the production) although I did not resent this, partly because I knew that the first bow in a ballet was the best that I was ever going to get...partly because i thought that all the audience members would be anxiously waiting for the stars to jump on and therefore they would not notice if I stumbled or just completely stacked it on stage. Luckily I did not completely embarrass myself....I managed to pull off the bow without loosing all my pride or my footing. The only problem occurred when the dance number actually commenced. You see when I went on stage for the last performance I believed that I should stay in character, and as everyone knows, a Russian dancer is not a Russian dancer without her red ribbon. Unfortunately I was the only Russian dancer who thought this way. Resulting in me looking the dim one when I was the only one who insisted on waving this ridiculously long string like thing at the audience. This problem only increased when the dance occurred....you might not know this but if you attempt to jump with your leg outstretched behind you and your arm reached forward (there is defiantly some sort of ballet term for this....but I don't know) there is a strong possibility you might whack another dancer right in the face....This might then cause her to turn around in a angry manner and accidentally push you back into the back curtain, causing you to crash very-un-gracefully to the floor and additionally take 2 more dancers down with you. It was safe to say after that I knew my short lived ballet career was exactly that. Short.Lived.
So therefore I think we can all agree that I can't dance, but my theory is that on my CV which states that I performed in the prestigious ballet "The Nutcracker", the casting director is not going to consider the fact I might be the world worst dancer, but instead is going to assume that I have a good solid dance history.How wrong they will be. I suppose I will just always have to live in hope that no director ever asks me to perform a short dance....because I can assure you I lost that red ribbon a long time ago.

Moral of the story- At all cost avoid red ribbons.